Steep path

Excerpt taken from Home Sweet Home-school by Sue Maakestad in regards to going against modern culture:
There is one catch: You have to be willing to take the tomatoes to the face that come with sticking your head above the crowd. The natural reaction to such an onslaught is to bolt and run or duck down and fit in. In the army of God, neither is acceptable.

Within the last few weeks I have been questioning the way we operate as a family as well as how other families operate within their own. Questioning where we are headed and what we have been through and wondering why we seem so out of the norm. And is this the climate that I want for my kids? Is this what we intended to do as parents? Why do we seem like the only ones rearing our kids the way we do? It has been a soul searching time coupled with the fact that we are still church shopping and you can see one dozy of a mental breakdown on the way.
I have in no way come to any conclusions but I am beginning to be hopeful. This path we have chosen is hard...and lonely. We have been criticized on many fronts and I think I was starting to wonder if they were right. Remarks made on why we homeschool, why we follow a budget, why do we keep our kids with us in church, why do we not have sugary snacks around the house, why are we so conservative when it comes to public policies, why, why why? We have been called bigots, racists, simpletons, crazy, weirdos, radical extremists and much more. To tell you the truth, I have wanted to put our house in lock down and come out when the food supply is desegregated.
This path my husband and I feel called to is so hard! It is lonely and steep. And then I read of beautiful hope.
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His right hand. I have been young and I have been old. Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging for bread. - Psalm 37:23-25
There is so much more to write but I am still processing all these things. I am beginning to understand that this life led by convictions may be tiresome in these days on earth but if I can just hold on to that which I know, (and to the person that I know), I will enjoy seeing the bigger picture for eternity.

Rock Sculpture

We were on the 405 freeway when we saw a truck hauling a large rock. I thought it would be a good teachable moment so I pointed out the rocks to the kids and was talking to them about the artist, Michaelangelo. When he saw a large chunk of marble or rock, he would also envision the "artistic piece" inside the mass. And then he would carve out what he envisioned. He viewed his work as simply letting free what was already there. So I asked the kids what they saw within the rock if they were the sculptor.

Josiah saw a dragon.
Naomi saw a cheetah.
Aunt Amanda saw a four-headed dog.
I saw a bald eagle with his wings partially spread open.
And with great anticipation the kids asked Daddy what he saw. Without missing a beat, Dustin replied, "I see a smaller rock."

So High

We have had quite the lovely week. I have been savoring it all morning. The house is decent, the kids have been enjoying their studies and my husband is still my stud. I never imagined my life as a homemaker nor did I ever think I could homeschool. And quite frankly, I cannot believe how much my husband enthralls me. It is not the life I was trying to attain. I am so grateful that God did not answer my requests for the life I had desired. Unbelievably grateful for a God who gives us what is best for us.

Contentment is the key word for the week. Not because life is going well but because of how God has shown Himself to me this week. I have rediscovered how puny I am in light of an awesome and holy God. At first it was frightening and then it was humbling and now I am just in awe that the One who calls each star by name, also knows the number of hairs on my head. The one that stores the rain, also knows my name. The One that looks throughout the whole earth, enjoys my feeble attempts at worship and He wants to know ME! What an amazing God we have. It is beyond words. I think it is best summarized by the song, "So High."

LORD, THESE ARE JUST WORDS AND ARE NOT ENOUGH TO CONTAIN YOU.
JESUS JUST WORDS AND NEVER SUFFICE TO ACCLAIM YOU.
FATHER JUST WORDS AND I HAVE SO FEW,
I RUN OUT TO FAST TO SPEAK THEM TO YOU.
FATHER JUST WORDS AND I HAVE SO FEW,
I RUN OUT TO FAST TO SPEAK THEM TO YOU.
YOU ARE INDESCRIBABLE,
YOU ARE BEYOND EXPRESSION.
I RUN OUT OF WORDS FOR YOU, I CAN'T THINK THAT HIGH.
SO HEAR MY SPIRIT GROAN IN ME, A PAINFUL SENSE OF URGENCY,
TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE TO ME,
SO HIGH....

Sacred Hour Project

*We began this experiment on Monday, May 18, 2009*

My new little project for our family is designating a Sacred Hour in which we go to our rooms and have the option of read, sleep, pray or think. It is designed to start to train the kids and myself to truly learn the discipline of being still before the Lord. Feet are not allowed to touch the floor. No computer time or TV time. No getting chores done. Just sitting still.

So far I have been able to read and contemplate the ideas in the book, "Crazy Love," by Francis Chan. (And I have fallen asleep for a power nap.) The ideas in this book are so foreign to me that I can only read a section at a time. To truly understand or grasp God's true self is unattainable but I think the effort to grab even a finite concept in my head is worth the struggles. Because if I view my God as BIG and ABLE, then the way I worship, the way I pray, the way I give, is drastically changed. I cannot even put into words what I am trying to understand. This search is changing me. It is changing the way I view everything and yet it is so mind boggling that I cannot comprehend it or put it into words. For me, the Sacred Hour Project has been very beneficial.

Josiah has had the worst time with this concept because he cannot play with his toys. One of the rules is that feet do not touch the floor. So he hates this new idea but isn't that how we all feel sometimes. The idea of sitting by ourselves is scary! And yet it is a discipline that will serve him for a lifetime so I will not be foregoing this any time soon.

Naomi thoroughly enjoys her time. She grabs an armful of books and sits on her bed and reads for the entire time and is not interrupted by silly brother or a questioning Mom...so I am getting a ton of missionary biographies for her to peruse. ;)

I have become, one of those

I have recently overhauled our food consumption and realized that I have become one of those houses that I hated going to when I was little. The kind that didn't have fun snacks like Twinkies nor chocolate bars or fruit snacks. The kind that had fresh fruits, nuts, granola or yogurt. There was nothing to eat at those places!

Josiah had two friends over this afternoon and we had peanut butter sandwiches and fruit for lunch. The boys wanted honey in the sandwiches and did not like the mango juice we served so they settled for water. After some hard playing, the troops came by for a snack and wondered if I had any chocolate dipped marshmallows. There were a few other suggestions like ice cream and chocolate strawberries of which I did not have. So once again they settled for fruit smoothies but were dismayed when I didn't have any whipped cream. It dawned on me that my overhaul has been quite successful. My children pointed out plenty of things to eat and were so excited with the smoothies. Although I would have hated living in a house like mine when I was young, I am so glad that we have smoothly transitioned to a more healthier lifestyle but perhaps I can keep a stash of fruit snacks for those who aren't used to such living.

Hot Earth

The kids spent the earlier part of the week at my mom's house in Imperial, CA which is at the very southern tip of California. They are literally 15 minutes away from the Mexico border. It is a very dry, hot place with red clay for dirt. I don't know how they handle life in the desert but they do. One particularly hot day Josiah said came inside the house and said to my mom, " Lita, you have to find a new earth to live on. This one is too hot." :)

Church Shopping

Perhaps it is because we have been visiting churches for the last couple of months but we have found this process quite wearing on ourselves and our kids. Churches have many different ways that they try to "entice" a person to return. It may be in the form of a basket or card or phone call. It could be a small gift like a book or coffee mug and maybe even candy for the kids. This Sunday we visited another church and halfway during the service, Naomi looked up at me and asked, "Does this church give out candy?" And I realized, we have a problem if we are visiting churches and the kids are expecting goodies.