Revoltion of the heart

As I mentioned earlier, I have been reading a book entitled, Created to Be HIs Help Meet. At first I was very skeptical of the book and the ideas presented and wary of some of the views the author had but I forged ahead because she encouraged the reader to delve into the Word for herself. It has been during this extensive study of what God's word has to say about joy, blasphemy, fear of the Lord, submission, being chaste and sober, keeping the home, and training the children and loving your husband, that God has transformed the way I perceive my role as a wife and my actions. It is like getting lasik surgery of the heart.

Nowhere have I seen this more evident than the peace and contentment within our home and interaction as a family. With a concise focus on my role as a wife and mother, I can avoid cultural traps that I was stuck in. I know how to usurp my husband, I know how to manipulate him, demean him and be the boss but what I haven't know is how to be a chaste woman, sober, truly loving and discerning. So many things that I was not taught from the godless women in my family. As you can imagine, this whole process has been so freeing!!

The saddest part of this journey is that I see women in the church do the same thing! Older women aren't teaching the younger because they were never taught themselves. But thank God that he gives us the Holy Spirit to teach us in these matters. Not that I have attained all these things but I am pressing forward to be the wife God ordained me to be.

So I am wondering how many young women feel like I did. Desiring to be godly wives but having no clue as to how to do it. Or thinking you have a clue but always finding yourself failing or going back to what I call the default position. This world tells us that we can have it all. We are the determiners of our own destiny. We answer to no one. We are smarter than our husbands, more capable, able to live without a husband if we wanted to. Submission equals being a doormat. So many lies that creep in. So many half truths to destroy. The truth is that coming under the authority and leadership of your husband is the best thing you could ever do. I feel like I am one who has been set free. I am so thankful for God's Holy Word and His Spirit that guides us and directs us in the way we should go.

Flourish

As we seek to be spirit-conscious, we should focus on the Spirit as our source of guidance. This means we foster an environment where the Holy Spirit can flourish, fill and clearly speak to us." - Priscilla Shearer

The question is: Do I foster an environment where the Spirit flourishes?

Our lives are overwhelmed with noise that it is no wonder we question whether God speaks. For our family, as we have removed the TV, iPods, radios, we have noticed an increase in peace and reflection. We are able to meditate on God's Word more and discuss what we are learning and what we are struggling with. It has been a wonderful change. It is even evident in the children as they are asking more questions and thinking deeper thoughts.

I also think having an uncluttered house helps too. Even if it means getting rid of some furniture and adding a bookshelf so everything can have it's place. I desire for my home to be one that welcomes the Spirit of God and allows Him to flourish so that we can grow and glorify Him. I welcome any other suggestions.

book blog

I have been reading an interesting book titled, Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. I began reading this book 6 years ago but around the 3th or 4th page I ran into a section that I disagreed with. Unable to find anyone suitable to help me understand what she was saying, I put the book down because I did not want to be naive and listen to false doctrine. But I kept the book because a dear friend had sent it to me. Fast forward to about 2 months ago and I once again picked up the book and ran into the same passage that caused me to put it down earlier. This time I decided to tackle it and find out any information I could as well as seek godly council. The text in question was how she translated the word helper into help meet and the uses of meet in the New Testament. I finally decided that I should just disagree with her and not throw out the baby with the bath water. I had no idea what a journey this would send me on.

I wish now that I would have been blogging after each chapter. There are still things that I do not necessarily agree with but there is so much more that has struck a chord in me that it is near impossible to explain it all here. What I have discovered is that despite my theological differences with Mrs. Pearl, she is a voice in the wilderness for today's Christian woman. We as a church have lost our way in how we train up the next generation. A majority of older women do not step up and teach the younger women how to be wives. So now we have a host of young women who do not know how to properly love their husbands, keep a house, train their children, to be discreet and sober... and I would count my self as one of those young women. (Although I am not that young anymore!) The sad part is that the young women I am referring to are the 30-40 year olds who should be grasping the mantle of teaching alongside the older women for the young marrieds. We are too busy not wanting to intrude or get too personal. And that has left a generation of women reaching for what the world would call femininity.

And so I am learning a new way of doing things. I am learning to revere my husband. I am learning to defer to him and respect him.... and there has come over my heart a peace like no other as I have learned to submit in a godly manner. I don't even notice if my husband has noticed but it has made a huge impact in my heart. I am hoping to blog about the rest of the chapters I have left but there is no telling what will happen since I am limiting my online sessions. You can check out further information about this book and others at www.nogreaterjoy.com

Unplug

Several weeks ago our pastor was commenting that maybe we don't hear God because we have so much noise around us. Car radios, TV's, iPods, etc... constant background noise. It just so happen that the week prior to that sermon we had our cable shut off. the price had gone up and there is nothing but junk on it anyway plus we found ourselves yelling at news reports so we needed to just cut it out of our lives. Who couldn't use $77 extra a month anyways, right? At least we still had our computer so we are not completely shut off from the world.

Two days later, our year old computer crashed. PANIC!! No Facebook? No email? No iTunes? Since we had just shelled out most of our savings for the car, we knew we could not afford to fix the computer. We took it into the shop and decided to save up the money to fix it. It was difficult at first but you know what? My pastor was right. No TV, no computer and there was a lot more time to talk with God and listen. It became rather enjoyable not to have those things.

One night we decided to watch a movie and as we were I commented that all we need now is for the DVD player to break. Within 10 seconds of saying that, the thing died. Literally just died. Dustin quipped, "I think God is trying to tell us something."

We both had a hearty laugh and played some cards instead.

What was I thinking?

I have always scoffed at the kind of women who leave their children because they want to live their own lives or who demand "me" time on the weekends or go on Girls Only cruises with their BFFs. Just seems so egocentric and narcissistic to go to such extremes and negate the duty of family. Yet as I going my journey on Spark People, I realize that I am just as bad but in the opposite direction. In an effort to serve and love my family, I have completely ignore my daily needs as a mom and I didn't even know it!

When I first began keeping track using the Nutrition Tracker, I was shocked that I was not even eating 1000 calories a day nor was I getting the protein, fat and carbs my body needs. I would have never believed it had I not done the work myself. I was shocked. I have a friend that gets so busy that she forgets to eat and I always thought that was nonsense. But I was doing the same thing! I would eat the crust of the bread left over from the kid's sandwiches but forget to make my own. I would start drinking a bottle of water and then forget where I put it and end up not drinking any water at all. I also would make snacks for the kids but never eat with them because I was the story reader and couldn't have my mouth full. None of these are bad in and of themselves but when they become a part of the routine and a part of life, the consequences are dangerous. In my case it has lead to extreme fatigue and crankiness and my body holding onto as much weight as possible instead of the normal process that it needs to go through.

I am proud to say that this Mamma has learned a huge lesson and will be portraying a healthy lifestyle for my kids from here on out. A lifestyle that promotes the importance of spiritual, mental and physical health.

*taken from my blog at www.sparkpeople.com

Josiah and Naomi on marriage

During lunch, Josiah declared that he has chosen to stay with Mom and Dad forever and thus he will not be getting married. Naomi very quickly and quietly replied, "Mommy told me a secret once. Little boys that say they are not going to get married, usually end up marrying anyways."
End of conversation.

Auto Troubles

I haven't written in quite a while although I think about writing often. The events of the last two weeks just seem too overwhelming to actually write out. For several months we have been living with one car and it hasn't been that bad. There are times when we have to schedule things down to the minute but for the most part, we have managed. And then our sole care tanked. The pistons blew and we needed to pay for about $2000 worth of repairs. Not only that but the repairs would take roughly a week and a half so that meant the kids and I were home bound. Gratefully we have some generous friends that let us use their car for a couple of days and my parents were visiting so we piled into their truck. The hardest part was figuring out what to do and whether we should buy a car. We have only had car payments once in our 10 year married life and we paid that off in half the time. We have generally paid cash for our cars but that meant not having anything fancy. (which is fine by me.) I was feeling a bit dejected by the whole thing and it was my husband that spurred me on to trust that God has it all under control. To add to his faith, God graciously provided a second car for us through some friends. I find it particularly funny that it is a 1992 Ford Thunderbird! The fact is that God provided something we were not expecting and we are rejoicing and praising Him for His undeserved goodness.